A Fosters Fanfic
by IAmToast24
Summary: Just a bunch of random stories centered around the characters in Freeform's TV series, The Fosters.
1. Flashback

There was a time when Callie thought that letting Brandon go was the right thing. If she were being honest with herself, she still does think that. But it's hard to admit, especially when the memories of him threaten to overwhelm her, so she tends to push the thought aside whenever it attempts to resurface.

And it happens a lot: the memories attacking her. Sometimes she'll be reading a book on the bench in the backyard when suddenly she's thrust backwards in time, caught up in his arms again, crying because she knew she'd have to let him go. Or else she's playing guitar trying to relax when she's swept away in a melody he improvised just to get a smile out of the broken girl. Those times could be bad, but they really only reminded her of good times, like when you remember your first kiss or that time your parents took you to an amusement park.

The worst memories come at night, creeping into her dreams, reminding her of all the things she could've had. In these dreams, she's reliving it all. First she's at the wedding again, kissing Brandon with every emotion in her, because that's how much she cared for him, even then. After that, she's listening to him play the song he wrote for her, kissing him on the floor of the empty apartment building, feeding the hope that had been building inside her for the first time. Later, she's at his concert, cheering for his piece, knowing without words that the song is about their lost love, nearly crying at how much beauty such heartbreak could inspire.

But that's when it all comes crashing down. That's when she gets to relive the way they fell apart. First she's running after Jude, trying to explain why she put Brandon before him, but she can't. Then she's watching him sing their song with Lou, knowing that he's slipping away from her and that there's nothing she can do. Later, she's clapping with the rest of the family, congratulating Brandon, swallowing her feelings and secrets for just one more night.

It's painful, so painful that sometimes she wakes up in tears or unable to properly breath. It's the kind of pain that comes from knowing you've found your soulmate but you can't be with him. It's unbearable, but she bears it. She has to.

That's really the worst part: knowing that it was the right decision. That it still is. But the heart doesn't care what's right, it has its own desires, its own agenda.

And right now, standing outside, taking out the trash, Callie tries to accept it. She tries to truly and finally let go. Right beside her is where they kissed for the first time. She remembers it so vividly it plays before her like a recording.

 _"I wanted to thank you," she said to him, "for believing in me, when I didn't believe in myself." She smiled at him, a timid smile, as to not betray how fast her heart was pounding._

 _"Anytime," he replied with that lopsided smirk that set her on fire._

 _"With the trial, I might not have gotten the outcome I wanted, or the justice I deserve. But I know what I deserve now."_

 _"Do you?" he asked, doing the thing he always did where he looked into her soul and saw her, truly saw her, as if his soul knew hers. "Cause, you do." He stepped closer to her, and her pulse revolted. "You deserve to be happy. You're amazing." He bit his lip. "And kind, and smart, and beautiful. And you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have everything that you want." He was so close she could feel his breath on her skin, and she was delighted to notice it was coming in fast, heavy spurts._

 _"Don't you?" he asked in a tone so sincere, she couldn't help but lean forward and meet his lips with hers. This kiss was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before; it was like she was inhaling him, like he was a drug and she couldn't get enough. That was when Jude walked in, and everything fell apart. But for a moment, just a moment, she'd been completely and profoundly happy._

The memory fades into the present as AJ comes into view, and what began as a way to let go only weakens her resolve. What is her life worth if she's living without that kind of happiness? She doesn't know. But in her mind, there is a clear distinction between the memories. It's as if everything in her mind is dull, or colorless until she's with Brandon. Those memories are in HD: vividly bright, detailed, and colorful.

What would she give up just for one more touch, one more kiss? Just for a chance to feel that powerful surge of happiness again? Most people would say the cost is too high, that it's not the right thing to do. And they're probably right, they're definitely right. But what is being right worth in the face of pure happiness?

That's truly the worst part of it all: knowing that, deep down, she would give up morals, traditions, even the law, as long as she could be with him again. And also knowing that there is only one thing she would never give up for him, the one reason that they can never be together: their family.

There are times when Callie thinks that letting Brandon go was the right thing, but this is not one of them.


	2. The Story of Love Lost

Mariana Adams-Foster kind of wishes Callie hadn't told her about Idyllwild. I mean, sure, it's good drama and everything, but she can never unknow the fact that her siblings slept together while she was in the next room.

Not that she has any room to judge, since, on the same night, Mariana had almost slept with Matt before confessing that she had cheated on him. It wasn't one of her proudest moments. At least Matt and she can be together, now that he has forgiven her. Callie and Brandon can never go back to the relationship they had, if they even had one.

Truthfully, Mariana doesn't know much about how deep their feelings went for each other. They hid it well. She always just assumed, like everyone assumed, that they had kissed before Callie ran away and that was the end of it. But now she's left to wonder: had there been more?

She knows that she will only be able to get answers from Brandon or Callie, and since Brandon probably won't even talk to her about it, she decides to question Callie.

"So, you and Brandon, huh?" she asks one night as Callie and she are settling into bed. Callie looks over at her.

"Yeah," she responds, pulling up her blanket.

"How…" Mariana starts, unsure of her question, "how exactly did that...happen?" Callie stares at her for a second, seemingly trying to figure something out in her head.

"The Idyllwild thing?" she asks. "Or the rest of it?" Mariana raises her eyebrows.

"The rest of it?" This was what she had been wondering. "There was more?" Callie nods and lets out a small snort.

"You didn't think we just wound up sleeping together one night, did you?"

"I don't know," Mariana responds. "It's not like you guys ever dated, right?"

"We did, actually," Callie admits. "Back when I was in GU." Mariana, unable to contain her curiosity, plops herself onto Callie's bed and demands to know the whole story. Callie obliges.

And so Mariana hears all about the secret meetings, the loving sacrifices, and the painful arguments that paint the couple's past. She sighs when Callie tells her about the way he fought for her through the restraining order, breaking the law just to be with the girl he loved. She gasps when Callie reveals that he gave her up so that she could be a part of the family. Finally, Mariana can't help but cry when Callie finishes, wondering how they both survived breaking their own hearts for one another.

"Hey, don't cry," Callie says, rubbing Mariana's arm. Mariana sniffles.

"How can I not?" she asks. "Its heartbreaking." She suddenly feels the need to hug her sister, comfort her, so she does. She grabs Callie, holding her tightly, and says, "I'm glad you told me. You don't have to be alone with it anymore."

"With what?" Callie asks.

"The pain." The sisters stay like that for a while, silently holding each other, attempting to smother the feeling of loss. When Mariana finally pulls away, she sees Callie in a different light than before. And she has many questions.

"So, that song, the one he wrote for Lou…" she begins, but Callie knew where her thought was going already.

"Yes, he wrote it for me," she admits. "But I knew that it deserved to be heard, so I told him he should play it with the band. Since Lou was his girlfriend at the time, everyone just assumed he wrote it for her."

"Wow," is all Mariana can think to say. After a moment's pause, she thinks of another question: "So that song he performed in Idyllwild, it must have been for you, too." Callie shakes her head.

"He never said he wrote it for me."

"Yeah but I saw the way you looked at each other when he finished playing. Plus, I remember asking him what it was about, and he said 'forbidden love' all mysteriously." Callie's eyes take on a distant look.

"I suppose I always assumed, even though I would never admit it, that he wrote it about me, about us," she says wistfully.

"You're like, his muse," Mariana says, a bit of laughter in her voice.

"Yeah," Callie responds, distantly, "I guess I was." Mariana can see that her questions are bringing up some tough memories for Callie, so she just hugs her sister on last time and goes to her bed.

"Good night, Callie," she whispers.

"Good night, Mariana," Callie whispers back.

Mariana doesn't go to sleep right away, how can she? She has just heard the most tragically beautiful love story ever, and it's not even pretend. How can two people so meant for each other be so doomed? Her heart aches for both of them, for their lost love, and for the fact that their success in love would have meant her losing a sibling. Such an impossibly awful situation. Despite it all, Mariana decides that nothing is more important than true love, and she now knows the Callie and Brandon have it. She vows to do right by their love, to fight for it even though they themselves have lost hope. All she has to do is find a way to make it possible again without tearing the family apart in the process.

Man, Mariana Adams-Foster _really_ wishes Callie hadn't told her about Idyllwild.


	3. Find Our Way Back

They come back together in New York. At first it's as friends and siblings, two people trying to put the past behind them and make a future somewhere new. Brandon's the one who suggests getting the apartment together, since neither of them can afford it on their own. Stef and Lena are sad to see them go but ultimately happy for them. Callie promises to send Mariana lots of pictures and to call Jude at least once a week. Brandon promises to keep her out of trouble, though none of them take that bit too seriously.

So they move in and start their respective jobs, Callie as an artistic photographer's assistant at BuzzFeed, Brandon as an apprentice for a world-renowned composer. In the beginning, they barely see each other. Brandon works at the studio most of the day and when he's not there he's in his room writing. Meanwhile, Callie works normal hours and is always out with her new friends at night. Still, they try to eat dinner together every once in a while, and there is that one hilarious time when Callie nearly burns the whole apartment building down, after which they agree that Brandon cooks and she cleans.

About a month after they move in, Callie comes back to the apartment in tears and is surprised to see him sitting at the window seat on the far side of the loft. Her first instinct is to cover her face and retire to her room, but then she sees the understanding look in his eyes and remembers that it's Brandon, her Brandon, and so she goes over and sits across from him. They talk for hours and she realizes that she's not the only one who's been struggling to adjust to their new life.

That night, she feels more at home in this strange city than she has since she moved. As she lies in bed, a smile creeps up on her, bubbling up from her chest until she's beaming. Then she remembers thinking of Brandon as _hers_ for the first time in years, and immediately she scolds herself for it, scolds herself for retreating back to the battlefield of a futile war she's not even supposed to fight. She knows how dangerous it is to allow herself to want him. So she pushes it down, mocks it up to loneliness and stress, and pretends the feeling was never there.

He asks her a few weeks later if she'd mind him having some friends over. She tells him that it's alright as long as she can invite some of her own. He smirks and says it's a deal, holding out his hand for her to shake. She chuckles and agrees, sliding her hand into his. They touch only for a split second, but Brandon's hand in hers is soft and warm and so inviting, and she secretly imagines him touching her in places he should not. When she feels the spark, she convinces herself that there's just too much static electricity in the air.

Callie isn't surprised when he hits it off with her friends. She watches him light up the room from her vantage point on the couch. Brandon stands in front of their friends, a beer in his right hand, talking about some jerk songwriter who had the nerve to insult his boss. He says something that makes everyone laugh, and she knows that it must have been hilarious, but she doesn't hear it because she's too distracted by the blinding glow of his smile. She tries, and fails, not to notice the way his eyes linger on her to make sure that she's laughing too, that she thinks he's funny. She also tries not to get jealous when Stephanie gives him her number at the end of the night. She fails at that too, the fight going out of her the moment he gives her friend a suggestive smirk. But then she snaps out of it, commanding herself to be happy for them. It almost works.

She's strangely relieved when everyone leaves and it's just the two of them. That is, until Brandon asks why she introduced him as her roommate and not her brother. In all honesty, she had been asking herself that all night, and the only answer that she could come up with is that "brother" doesn't feel right. But she can't tell him that, so she tells him it's because she doesn't want to have to explain her past quite yet, and he seems satisfied enough with the answer.

But she's not satisfied with it, not at all. She thought that she had left her feelings for him safely in the past, but it's becoming more and more obvious that they are resurfacing. In an effort to stamp out her growing affection, Callie avoids him for the next few weeks, claiming that she's busy with work. This leaves the door wide open for him to hook up with Stephanie, though the fling doesn't last for long. Afterwards, Callie sees less and less of the girl until they've stopped speaking entirely. When she asks Brandon about it, he gives her a vague answer and a suspicious shrug, and as much as she wants to know, she doesn't push him.

She finds herself in constant need of a reminder that she's Brandon's sister, nothing more. When he calls her into his room to help him with a harmony or rhythm for a song he's working on, she has to stop herself from reaching out and tracing her finger along his furrowed brow to smooth the crease there. When she wakes up to the scent of chocolate chip pancakes and the sight of him in the kitchen, a dish towel over his shoulder, she has to clasp her hands behind her back to keep from hugging him so tightly that she can hear his steady heartbeat against her ear. When she asks him to pick up some groceries for the apartment and accidentally calls it home, she has to contain her rapidly beating heart at the sight of his soft smile because she's sure that he can hear it, growing louder with each passing day.

It's especially difficult when he comes back to the apartment one night very drunk. She's barely ever seen him like this, and often, in high school, it had been because he was upset. But now, he's singing and dancing and laughing, unable to recognize which bedroom is his. So he plops onto Callie's bed by mistake, realizing she's there with passive surprise. He doesn't move to get up, and Callie soon understands that he's sleeping on her bed tonight, so she takes off his shoes, tucks him under some blankets, and goes to sleep on the couch. But just as she's leaving, he catches her hand and pulls her towards him.

"I have to tell you something," he says, his eyes drooping. "You need to know."

"What is it?" Callies asks him, unsure of where this is going. There's worry etched into his features, and she can't help but imagine the worst.

"You're my best friend," he tells her right before slipping into unconsciousness. He says it with such ease, such finality, as if it is the truest of facts. He says it like a breath that's been held int too long, like a simple, yet powerful admission. He says it like he means "I love you".

Callie stays with him for a while that night, making sure that he's okay. Just before she leaves her room, she brushes his hair back tenderly, the way she can't when he's awake, and kisses his forehead. She wakes up the next morning to an apologetic Brandon, his hair wet from showering off the previous night. And Callie, too, wishes she could wash herself free of it all and forget it, forget that he still considers her his best friend even after all the shit she's put him through, forget the feel of his hair on her fingertips, because it just makes it that much harder for her to pretend that she's not still in love with him.

They go on like this for months, Callie acting as though she wants nothing more than friendship, Brandon oblivious to the battle she's fighting with herself everyday. She knows that she should probably leave or move out or do _something_ to distance herself from him, but as torturous as being near him is, being away from him would be twice as awful. She loved him and let him go once before, and she had thought the pain of it was unbearable, but that pain and longing pales in comparison to what she feels now. Now it's a steady, all consuming ache, like a sickness that slowly kills you by eating your insides. And there's no cure.

Still, there are moments, brilliant moments, in which she thinks that he might reciprocate these feelings. She'll catch him gazing at her while she's working, or he'll stare at her lips a bit too long after feeding her a taste of a new recipe he's trying for dinner. But she convinces herself that it's all in her head, that it's just her lovesick brain trying to make her believe that this impossible situation could resolve itself somehow. She's knows, logically, that it can't. Because, even if he did love her still, they cannot be together.

All of her wondering and internal conflict comes to a head on Christmas Eve. They're stuck in the city due to the snow, and both of them are pretty bummed about it. Callie especially had been looking forward to the warm weather back home, and to seeing Jude. But instead they are stuck celebrating the holidays just the two of them. Brandon notes that it feels empty without the whole family, and suggests they decorate the apartment to make it feel full and spirited. Callie agrees and soon the apartment is covered in wreaths and ornaments and mistletoe. The mistletoe is Brandon's idea, and Callie, against her better judgement, goes along with it.

Half way through the night, "Christmas Waltz" comes on the playlist, and Brandon convinces Callie to dance with him. She tries not the think about the fact that they learned to dance together, or the fact the she was falling in love with him at the time. Unfortunately, Brandon brings it up, laughing about how young and naive they were at the time. She laughs with him for a moment before his expression turns serious. She gets so lost in his eyes that she doesn't realize that they've stopped dancing. When she does come to her senses, she notices that they are directly underneath the mistletoe. It takes are a moment to understand what has happened, and when she does she can't believe it.

Brandon has been orchestrating this all night: the mistletoe, the decorations, the dancing. Now, here they stand, so close that she can feel his breath on her skin, and he's looking at her with a question in his eyes, a question to which her heart has always known the answer. So she reaches up and cups his face, melting when he immediately leans into it. Then he surges toward her, and suddenly, his lips are on hers.

She gasps into his mouth, the kiss somehow encompassing every feeling inside of her. It's soft and slow and warm, and she can't believe that it's really happening. It feels refreshingly new and exciting, yet it also feels exactly as it had years ago. He tastes like candy cane and sugar cookies and _home_. And when they finally pull back from each other, her eyes are wet. He brushes a tear from her cheek, silently understanding.

They don't talk about the reality of their situation that night. Instead, they kiss and dance and laugh until they both fall asleep on the couch, their hands intertwined, her body curved into his. It's the perfect Christmas Eve, and Callie feels like a part of her has finally clicked back into place. But that high cannot last for long.

The next morning they FaceTime the rest of the family and make promises to catch a flight for New Years. Then, they open each other's presents. Brandon manages a decent breakfast for the two of them, but they cannot avoid the discussion for long. Callie is the one who brings it up, her plate nearly clean save for the remaining syrup. His eyes are sad when they lock on hers, but there's also hope in them that she can't ignore. They go back and forth for a while, eventually deciding that no one needs to know about them being together while they themselves are still figuring it out.

Going back home for New Years presents a small problem since they are now secretly together once more. Both of them agree to maintain a familial relationship until after the trip, and Callie wants to kiss him again so bad but she knows that she can wait a bit longer. At home, everyone is so happy to see them and there are so many questions. Mariana wants to know if they've met any celebrities yet, and Callie's sure that she knows the answer hasn't changed since they last talked, but they have a good laugh about it. Jude asks her about her job, so she shows him some of her work. Her moms come over to admire her pictures as well, giving words of approval. Throughout all of it she can see Brandon on the far side of the room, talking to Jesus, his eyes flickering to hers every so often with that lopsided grin that hasn't changed in the years since she met him. Her reaction to it hasn't changed, either. It still sets her on fire.

They have their first official date a week after New Years. And Callie tells herself that it's not a big deal but the nerves still eat away at her and she should really know by now that she's awful at lying to herself. On the night of their first date, Brandon wears the only suit he owns and Callie wears her fanciest dress. He takes her to this extremely high-class restaurant where the waiters look like butlers and everything is overpriced. About halfway through dinner both of them realize how completely ridiculous the whole thing is because they've spent most of the night poking fun at their snobby waiter.

In the end they decide to go back to the apartment and change into their pajamas and watch a movie. Which is fine by Callie cause that just means she can snuggle up next to him. The night inevitably ends in lots of kissing before Brandon says that they should go to their separate rooms. But his tone tells her that he's reluctant, probably only saying it because he doesn't want to push her. She loves him all the more for his gentleness, and when he goes to get up from the couch, she tugs on his shirt and kisses him with everything in her.

That night she makes love to him for only the second time in her life, and it's gloriously everything it wasn't the first time. Not that the first time wasn't beautiful and amazing; it was. But their union is no longer tainted with the fear of loss and the urgency of their shared secrets. Now it is free to be all that it can be: passionate, tender, mature. They were so young when they first got together, and the years have only caused their love to grow.

Callie wakes up in his arms so content that it feels like a dream. And for the first few weeks they are together, it does feel like she's living a fantasy, like she will soon wake up to a bleak reality. But eventually, the shine of it rubs off, and what remains is what has always been there: a deep connection. They love each other; they always have. Now they are finally living the life they were meant to live.

It's almost a year into their relationship when they get into a huge fight about whether or not to tell the family. They are going back home for the holidays soon. Brandon fells like they can't keep it a secret for much longer, but Callie is still so afraid of hurting them. Her moms who took her in when she was nothing, Mariana and Jesus who have always been so supportive and loyal, and Jude who would be so crushed and disappointed. Brandon gives her a few days to herself to think about it while he's on a trip to Nashville to meet with some songwriters.

When he comes back, he sets up candles all around their apartment and surprises Callie when she comes home from work. After a long, emotional speech about her always being his family, just in a different way, he gets down on one knee and proposes. At first she's so shocked that she can't move, can't speak. But then this rush of adoration and love comes over her, like suddenly everything in her life has clicked into its rightful place, and she breathes out a yes so effortlessly, she's not sure that she's said it. So she says it again and again as he slides the ring onto her finger, kisses her, then picks her up and carries her to his room.

They go back home for Christmas to make the announcement to the family. Christmas Eve feels like the right time, so Callie takes off her ring when they land and hides it until the time comes. Once everyone has arrived, the two sit everyone down in the living room and tell them everything: the relationship, the engagement, the plan to get Callie legally unadopted. Callie tells her moms how much she loves them and that she will always be a part of the family. After the initial shock wears off, Maraina is the first to congratulate them, coming up and hugging them both tightly with a squeal for good measure.

Then the moms come up to them with shocked but loving faces. They tell Callie that they love her no matter what, and that, if this is truly what she wants, they couldn't be happier for them. Jesus then makes some snide comment, alleviating some of the tension in the room before Jude asks if Callie will still be his sister. She tells him that she'll always be his sister.

"Though technically," Brandon says, coming up behind her and taking her hand, "she'll be your sister-in-law." She looks up at him, grinning, as he meets her lips with his.

Their wedding is a small, intimate affair. It's not at some fancy resort or a grand church. It's in the backyard, where their moms got married, where they first fell in love. Callie wears a simple, elegant dress with lace details. Her moms walk her down the isle, their small group of family and friends all beaming for them. Brandon cries when he sees her in her dress, her hair pinned up in braids. Her eyes get a bit watery, too, as he recites his vows to her, much of it made up off song lyrics he wrote for her over the years. Her own vows are less poetic than his, she thinks, but they are the truth from her heart.

When they finally say "I do" and are pronounced husband and wife, Callie feels like the luckiest person alive. It feels like a gift she doesn't deserve. But she'll gladly take it, she thinks as she kisses him for the first time as his wife. She'll gladly endure the gift and the curse of being with him for the rest of their lives. The good and the bad. That is what love is anyway.

Their first dance is to the orchestral music he wrote at Idylwilde. It's beautiful and sweet and perfect. Brandon wears a smile matching the magnitude and ease of her own as he gazes down at her. There is a peaceful moment in which he kisses her softly, a promise in the meeting of their lips. Then he calls her his wife for the first time, and she almost cries.

This, this is the dream she never allowed herself. A happiness she could have never imagined all those years ago. But somehow, against all odds, they have found a way to end up together. She basks in the glow of it all evening, and then again the next day and the next. Because he is hers now, endlessly. That is what they promised, time and time again. And so it is what they shall have. Forever.


End file.
